Security System
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HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM

 

 1.  Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.

 2.  Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.

 3.  Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

 4.  Leave a note on your door that reads:

            "Bubba,

             Bertha, Duke, Slim, & I went for more ammo and beer.  Be back in an hour. 

            Don't mess with the pit  bulls; they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up bad.  I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood.  Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.

             Better wait outside.  Be right back.

                                    Cooter"

             "Cooter"

 

 

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Jan. 30, 2010