Us Texan's know "a lot of
stuff" from just having been born and raised here. A
newcomer, however, has a lot to learn.
FROM A NON-TEXAN AFTER LIVING IN
TEXAS FOR A YEAR!
learned living in Texas.
possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the
There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them
live in Texas.
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000
of them live in Texas, plus a couple no one's
4. If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it
crawls, it'll bite cha.
5. 'Onced' and 'Twiced' are words.
6. It is not a shopping cart, it is
7. 'Jaw-P?' means 'Did ya'll go
to the bathroom?'
8. People actually grow and
9. 'Fixinto' is one
10. There is no such
thing as 'lunch'.
There is only dinner
and then there is
11. Iced tea is
all meals and
drinking it when
you're two. We
do like a little
tea with our
15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH EM.
16. 'No. Jew?' is a common response to the question 'Did you bring any beer?'
17. You measure distance in minutes.
18. You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.
19. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
20. You know what a 'DAWG' is.
21. You carry jumper cables in your car --- for your OWN car.
22. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, TexJoy, Tabasco and Ketchup.
23. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local high school sports and motor sports, and gossip.
24. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
25. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit 'a bit warm'.
26. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.
27. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past time know as 'goin' Wal-Martin' or 'off to Wally World'.
28. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chile weather.
29. Fried catfish is the other white meat.
30. We don't need no dang driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive dag-nabbit.
31. You understand these jokes and share this link to your Texas friends and those who just wish they were from Texas.